


If I Were A Man

by cinnamontoastalex



Category: Much Ado About Nothing (1993), Much Ado About Nothing - Shakespeare
Genre: Cottagecore, Crying, F/M, Gardens & Gardening, I wrote this for school and am strangely proud of it, Patriarchy, Truth, Women's Rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25198372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamontoastalex/pseuds/cinnamontoastalex
Summary: situated after act 4 scene 1, Beatrice relives her pains with a stroll through the garden.
Relationships: Beatrice & Hero (Much Ado About Nothing), Beatrice/Benedick (Much Ado About Nothing)
Kudos: 4





	If I Were A Man

I stroll into the courtyard buzzing on a wavelength I’ve never felt before. I feel positively alight and yet burnt out simultaneously. Never am I overwhelmed with trivial emotions to the point of faltering wit, yet here I stand, positively astounded by my fragile demeaner. As I drop my neck, I envision an untimely metaphor for my position in this current imbroglio. The damp and limp autumn leaves stare back at myself, unable to do anything as they lay heavy on the grass from morning’s due. 

I have tranquillised my external outbursts from before in an attempt to match the calm surrounding gardens. The soothing pallet of greens that make up the crisp shrubs and tall standing hedges allow me to slow my breathing just enough. Whilst the amalgamation of vehemence still remains beneath my skin, I continue to stare outwards to my environs in an attempt to compose my all-consuming thoughts and heart.

I stop still beneath the hearty trunk of the pine that hovers mightily over the garden. I press my forehead against its thick bark and examine as my tears as they continue to fall at the base. I watch the soothing sensation of my tears soak into the dirt and the roots below, assisting in the growth of this dear tree. Upon this, I weep a while longer, pushing everything I can out of my burdened soul and into the feat of nature. The tree collects my sorrows on Hero’s dishonour, Benedick’s reciprocal love and the crushing circumstance of my distasteful gender. 

I let myself relive the pain that is my poor sweet cousin Hero. My heart drops as I rethink her misfortune. Oh, my sweet Hero! Once again screwed over by this cruel patriarchal world. The world that brings her young soul into this world expects her to watch as she becomes bruised and have her very humanity ripped out from underneath her because of them! The world that I live in, doesn't deserve her caring nature, her infectious laugh and sweet soul. The world that we live in doesn't deserve to moan over her untimely departure. They tore her down and now expect that one more scheme will not only resurrect her being but her humanity and marriage?

The more I fill my thoughts with my dear cousin, the heavier I become, weighed down by the intolerable combination of my emotion. The intensity of my emotions creates tension that dampens the dirt surrounding my tree more. My string of thoughts drifts from Hero’s downfall, to the problem at large, my inability to do anything due to my moronic gender. I continue on my emotional rampage, giving in to my desire to anguish over my feminine nature. 

Those men are villains! Not only do they create suffering, but they are innate to the element of empathy! They create disarray and pandemonium yet turn a blind eye! They unknowingly have destroyed all that Hero has. Her purity and grace mocked under truths of lies and deceit! There is no hardest element of comprehension for they have failed on all fronts! Those buffoons can’t grasp the values of their actions. Her very own father betraying, sticking with his male kind. They will never recognise nor acknowledge their privilege. Oh, that I were a man! None would be the wiser. My place in the world would be cemented. By opinions acknowledged, my achievements praised, my intellect appreciated. I would be as valiant as Hercules and as powerful as they come. Why do I weep over the privilege of gender, or the lack thereof? I cannot be a man wish wishing. Not even my heavenly all mighty powerful god will ease our suffering. I pray Father, what hath I need to accomplish to bid me off this feminine intuition?

I cannot afford such a weakness at a time like this; I bid my tears farewell! For too long now I hath done nothing but allow my tears and wailing escape me. Above all, I am meant to be there for Hero, she needs me now more than ever. When not, even her own father is unwilling to take her side. The infectious ignorance of men, I could despise them all…. Except for Benedick. My sweet, true Benedick…

How has such a fine man been blinded to my eyes all this time! The wise, virtuous, truthful, caring Benedick, in my reach, yet never brought to such in a such a light to be admired by me. His longing eyes, beautiful, broad smile and above all else, his uncanny master wit! I love him with so much of my heart there is none left to protest. I will requite thee and love you as long as I shall live!  
Is this what love feels like? This ability to deepen all possible emotion until it feels like every action makes me on the verge of tears or singing out in joy. Hath I known, the powers of love fully, I would have prepared myself better. Who knew that love entailed a heightened magnitude of every feeling?

**Author's Note:**

> wow I'm impressed you made it this far ! Sending you a virtual hug for reading my work xo


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